June 7, 2009

I used to read books on a daily basis. Each week, I'd delve into my budget to purchase at least 2-3 books from Borders.  My trunk was once filled with a box full of books, audio books and magazines for me to read (or listen to) whenever the opportunity arose.  I love learning.

I don't read very much anymore, nor do I spend hours at the bookstore like I once did. These days I'm immersed by mundane daily operations that don't require new levels of thought. I wake, I train, I write, I work….but most of all, I am mainly with the baby all day.  

 I want to say that I'm not inspired to read anymore…but that's not true. I read because I love learning and right now, I'm learning so much in my new environment.

I'm learning about my soul…what I dreamt, what I have and what I will never compromise.

I'm learning about my goals…what I want, what I need to do and what I will have to sacrifice in order to get there.

I'm learning about life...what it means, what it brings and what it reveals when ‘life' isn't exactly what you thought it would be.

As much as I love my child today, I was absolutely shocked when I discovered I was pregnant. I never thought I would have a child before I was married. Nor did I think I'd move back to Sacramento or quit a job I fought hard to get. I tackle personal disappointment every day as I am constantly reminded of the goals I desired for my life at 28…I think often now of my dreams and how aloof they feel.

Christian is jumping around in his jumper right now – and I love it. He's so adorable, so amazingly beautiful. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Not only has he taught me what unconditional love means, but more significantly, he has taught me how life works.

Life works in surprises.

And I've always hated surprises. I'm a planner, a visionary, a goal-setter, go-getter and whatever defined tenaciousness…I thought I was.  Now. I'm reinventing everything I once was.

I'm  in the midst of creating my life story – with all the twists, turns and crazy surprises. As we live, we learn – and as we learn, we levitate…to a spiritual wisdom only personal, life experience can teach you.

I'm reading my own book today…

And I'm writing it every week and sharing it with all of you.

Thank you for reading.