July 24, 2008

We're expecting

Some weeks ago, after realizing I had missed my period, I took a pregnancy test and the result came out positive. The first emotion that ran through my mind was disbelief. Without reaction, I called David, placed the test on my dresser and continued to work on my laptop. When he arrived we both smiled and looked lovingly at each other – a wave of astonishment, anxiety and affection enveloped the room that night.

While I took the surprising news in stride, for weeks I was admittedly in denial. I had a hard time believing we had conceived a baby and that it now existed inside of me. I had a hard time experiencing a life situation I couldn’t control. And naturally, I would’ve liked to have our wedding first and then our child…but I accept the scheme of things today - I am no longer on my life’s pretend time table anymore… I am and have always been, on God’s time table.

My family and friends took the news with an unexpected excitement. Many knew David and I were a solid couple and were thrilled we were conceiving a child. Others knew I enjoyed children and were ecstatic to see me as a great mother...

It was a great feeling to receive love, support and excitement. Although in the last few weeks, I’ve cycled feelings of anxiety, happiness, fears, hopes and enthusiasm. I’ve discussed with friends, I’ve conversed with priests, and I’ve prayed each day.  As imperfect as I continuously admit I am, I know for certain that regardless of life’s hills and valleys – I have always triumphed and evolved to a better woman each day.  Life has given me so many blessings and now, I have been given a gift and am now bringing a blessing to this world.

While the baby was unplanned, the good news is: is that David was planned. We were planning on having kids and it so happened to be sooner rather than later.

For the last few years, many have witnessed me grow, change and evolve from a young woman, to a social entrepreneur and now a wife and mother.

There is no doubt in my body that all my present experiences is a piece of my personal destiny – and so as I continue to openly write, candidly express these changes and honestly share thoughts, feelings and emotions…I also know I am documenting a distinctly new chapter in my life.

I’m very excited. The rest of our lives will be an unpredictable adventure that will match every fun day of our first year together.

Thank you to all those who have already written me - God Bless.