I
spend a lot of time in solitude.
I
have a voracious appetite for knowledge and an unending quest for truth.
I
have a very simplistic way of living – often needing only water, salad and
running shoes to be extremely happy.
I
love gazing at the sky and always look up when exiting my car every
evening.
I
am drawn to people of depth. Those are people who have a ‘testimony’ as to
why they exist today.
I
cried often as a child and fondly remember holding onto my mother’s car
tires and legs when she dropped me off to preschool.
My
biggest fear was death and asked myself "why was I born" at the
age of 4.
In
my youth, I had mild anxiety attacks when I thought about life and used an
invisible glass of holy water (which I pretended to drink after I prayed)
which helped me sleep and overcome my anxiousness.
As
the eldest of 3 girls and a big fan of "the Brady Bunch", I
highly resonated with Marcia Brady as a kid.
After
my mother told me she didn’t have time to make lunch for work, beginning
at age 12, I committed to waking her up each morning at 5am to iron her
clothes, cook her breakfast and pack her lunch for four years.
My
favorite show as a child was “Little House on the Prairie.”
I
often made cleaning lists with 100 action items as a child and cleaned the
house sometimes until 2am.
I
was the only one amongst my siblings who had a phone in her room growing
up, but I never used it.
I
was extremely disliked/liked in high school.
I
won my first beauty pageant when I was 16 and was disliked even more by my
peers.
I
often read in the library during lunch and found that my aloofness was often
misconstrued as conceitedness.
I
often befriended peers in several different groups and found that my
friendliness was often mistaken as ‘fakeness’.
I
disciplined my eating at a young age. In high school, I proudly carried a
lunch box each day and ate the same lunch meal: bottled water, 10 fat free
saltine crackers, and wheat bread, with one slice of turkey with lettuce,
no mayo, no cheese and fruit.
I
met, danced and became infatuated with 2 boys at my first high school
dance. One was a handsome soccer player, another was a guy I didn’t find
initially attractive. While I wanted (and knew) the soccer player was
going to ask me to the homecoming dance, the other guy asked first.
Morally, I knew I should accept (and did accept) the first proposal – soon
after he became my first boyfriend and while peers nicknamed us “beauty
and the beast”, for the 13 months we dated, he became the most handsomest
man alive. I never did have the same opportunity to date that soccer
player ever again.
I
don’t have many regrets, but I do wish I had not lost my virginity when I
was most insecure with myself to my 2nd boyfriend.
While
I’ve had many relationships, I have only truly loved 2 men: Paul and
Erick.
I
loved Paul and Erick most because they were the most difficult to love.
I
do not date. (This means, there was a natural, organic commitment that was
planted from the very beginning of our connection.)
I’ve
never kissed a stranger.
97%
of my relationships have all been long term. (one year plus)
My
sisters and I have been co-dependent on romantic relationships since our
teenage years. I broke that spell after Paul.
One
of my biggest lessons in romantic relationships is that the hardest part
of breaking up is letting go of ‘the idea’ that person symbolized. Most
often, especially towards the end, I was 'in love' with an idea and not
the person.
I've
never experienced 'love at first sight' and am skeptical if that exists.
It
is fair to say I drink a glass of red wine 1x/week, and get mildy drunk
1x/year.
I
claim a big personal space and dislike being touched by anyone but my
loved ones.
I
was elected school president, a published writer and an oral language fair
winner at age 11.
I
was a beauty queen, a cheerleader, a college graduate, a world traveler, a
fitness competitor, and a manager before the age of 22.
Most
of my youth was spent in solitude and reflection, especially during early
mornings and late evenings.
I
felt my first euphoric experience with grace when driving home alone from
LA in November 2003.
When
I felt God’s loving presence in my life I wrote, cried and smiled for
days.
I
purged for the first time on my 23rd birthday, which fully consummated my
first of many years battling with bulimia.
I
firmly believe bulimia and any other form of addiction is a demonic act
and a spiritual battle.
I
believe the moment I gave my life up to Christ, was the same moment I was
challenged to uphold that faith.
I
am very traditional.
I
want 7 kids. (this includes adoptive kids)
I
envision marrying a man who is a community leader, a social activist, a
moral role model and who fights/writes/speaks/lives with a fire in his
belly.
If
my husband were to die before me, I would consider becoming a nun (after
my kids are young adults) and devote my life to Christ and the service of
others. If this were to happen, no one in my family would be surprised.
My
favorite time of the year is Christmas, but I sing “Tiger baby” all year
long to my dog. (it has the same rhythm as ‘Santa Baby’)
I
bake dozens of cookies each holiday season and give them to family and
friends.
I
have a tendency of being late. Even when I attempt being really early, the
universe makes me late or lost….I swear!
I
am clumsy and often fall once/day when I twist my ankle while walking.
I
don’t get jokes easily and will often laugh 10 minutes after the joke was
told.
I
love to dance and could’ve easily been one of those soul train dancers on
tv 
I
hate it when people stare at me, which is why I never made a really good
beauty queen.
I’ve
painted my toe nails since 7th grade and have not seen my actual nail bed
color since then.
I
take many calculated risks in life because of one reason: Love. I have
faith in my holy intuition and know I am prepared at any moment to die.
I
don’t wear deodorant and rarely shave my legs, wear perfume or smelly
lotions.
My
two biggest food vices are Brownies and Bread.
The
two greatest gifts my parents gave me were: Life and My Christian Faith.
While
I have an athletic build, I am not really an athlete. I never played a
sport because I was scared (and am still scared) of objects being thrown
at me. I was (and still am to a certain degree) very shy amongst groups of
aggressive people.
I
consider myself a very good personal trainer (I was a trainer from
2000-2002) not because I know where the bone of each muscle inserts. I’m
good because I have a passion to help the other person understand their
unique body and their unique abilities. I’m also a disciplined eduator, a
good listener and loud drill sergeant with a big smile.
I
excel at sales and had a full clientele after 2 weeks as a new personal
trainer at 20.
As
a fitness manager, in 2 months I tripled the gross of the service
department by hiring, firing and re-creating a new fitness philosophy
within the company. I was 22.
I
was offered my job at 24 hour fitness corporate headquarters by
photocopying anything written about me, writing a strong cover letter and
resume and sending the portfolio directly to the CEO.
My
favorite poem to recite is “Phenomenal Woman” by Maya Angelou.
My
middle name is Chinese and means “Beautiful Goddess” in translation.
I
don't watch movies often. But when I do, I usually watch a documentary, a
dramatic screenplay, or movie tributes to Saints.
Since
I was young, I've always wanted to name all of my children Saint Names. I
was named after Mother Mary.
I
usually go to fitness/business/spiritual/religious conventions by myself.
I
go to lectures/conventions/meetings at least once/month.
I
sucked my thumb until I was in 4th grade.
I
bit my toe nails until 6th grade.
95%
of the time, I cut my own hair.
I
am extroverted but also extremely introverted. I am more shy than people
realize.
I’m
very independent and need a lot of room to roam.
When
I’ve competed in the past, one of my biggest advantages was the ability to
have laser beam focus on myself and my preparations. Most often in
contests, (and in life) others get distracted by things/people outside
themselves, which makes them unconsciously lose focus on themselves. I also
have a knack for 'killing the competition' once I get into the top 3 and
excel in the question & answer portion.
I’m
not cocky when I compete but I am confident. I like coming in knowing
there was absolutely not one more cardio session I could’ve performed, not
one more thing I would’ve bought or one more prayer I should’ve said in
order to bring my best package onstage.
I
only do well in subjective sports.
I
love flowers but have a hard time receiving them. (and I'm reknown for
putting them in my hair)
In
traveling amongst strangers, I realize that my smile opens doors.
When
deepening a relationship with another being, I’ve noticed that my eyes
transmit trust.
After
years of understanding why people are drawn to be my friend, my client, my
colleague, etc…I know deep down that my internal/external beauty attracts
people.
The
biggest comment I get from others is that my words inspire.
A
big personal hope of mine is to always house a peaceful presence.
I
have friends who all serve different purposes. Their purposes are
dependent upon their spiritual gifts.
As
a friend, people come to me when they need more perspective on their life
situation and want a candid and truthful observation. Like any
relationship that demands growth, our friendships takes work, for I've
been in serious debate with all of them at one point.
I
hardly see my friends. There is no one I hang out with on a consistent
basis. My real quality time with friends involve deep discussions only
once every 2-3 months.
I
absolutely love being in the arms of a man I love. My favorite moments is
waking up knowing that there is a loving presence who exists for me in
this world.
All
the men I’ve dated physically trained just as hard, or harder than me. If
an interested man doesn't work out, eat well or have ambition, they are
usually not in my perphiral vision.
I
love kissing dog noses.
I
am often mistaken as the youngest child because I look young, I smile the
most and I'm more 'child-like' than my other siblings.
My
favorite time to read is when I sleep in on Sunday mornings in bed.
I
am a night owl and an early bird.
I
want to teach my future sons how to treat a woman and teach my future
daughters how to be a woman.
I
didn’t know what it meant to be a woman until I was 26.
I
am excited to be reunited with God when I die one day.
I
can’t recall a time in my life when I didn’t have an elderly friend/mentor
in my life.
When
I sleep I sometimes grind my teeth, lightly snore and place my arms
overhead like a baby.
When
I’m depressed, I only feel alive at night.
I
wrap most of my gifts to others in comic sections of the newspaper and
randomly send hand written cards to my friends.
I
often mix-match my wardrobe to amuse myself. No one ever says anything to
me.
I
wear a baseball hat at the gym because it hides my eyes.
My
favorite outfit to wear is a white summer dress.
I
never leave the house without a water bottle and purposely often forget my
cell phone.
I
don’t dream of a great wedding, I dream of a great marriage.
When
I write my weekly inspirational journals, I don’t know what inspires me…I
just write and allow a loving energy work through me.
I
have never considered myself a good writer.
Today
I know for certain that in order to live a more full and peaceful
existence, you must submit yourself to a greater power. You can call it
Buddha, Allah, God…I call him Jesus.
