December 12, 2006

It is 9:21pm and I am still at work right now. Just trained in the gym next door and continuing my very bad protein bar diet as I type! It's been an incredibly long day that began with me waking up in a cold sweat from a frustrating sickness my body has been battling for a few weeks.

After getting up 3 hours after my intended wake up call, I finally dragged myself out of bed and proceeded with my 'get up and go fast' routine that I play out every time I miss my morning workout.

As I sit in this office, I am finding it very interesting how life plays out. Right now I'm living in an atmosphere I wasn't expecting to be in just one month ago….from my daily routine, my personal responsibilities, my new acquaintances and my professional scope. Some of y'all who have journeyed this last month with me have heard my prayers for this moment in time…

…and this moment in time has come. I feel an intense Peace: from the decisions made, the commitments followed and the visions guided by the faith that carried me through it all. There have been many times such as today, when I sat in awe at the new person I was welcomed with when I washed my fatigued body, removed my day's make up and stared barefaced in the mirror at the end of each day…. I may look like a young, ambitious woman, but inside this woman is a passionate fighter.

I fight for things true in my heart. I challenge values which are universal and justified. I seek the actions behind every intention. And I dig deep to understand the truth in all things. Above all this, I forever remain a servant to my family, my friends, my community and even my enemies.

Right now I have a deep reverence for this moment and this life I chose to live. I have a deep lesson embedded from the recent battles and internal wounds of yesterday's sorrows.

The only absolute reason why I feel as strongly as I do today…is because I was challenged, and I fought hard to maintain the everlasting laws of faith, hope and love.

I've observed that the people I hold dearest to my heart, are those who traveled on this challenging road with me.  Those who settled for nothing less…and those who gave nothing more than what he/she felt was right..

Not only were these people in battles with others and with themselves…these same people have also been in battle with me. In this challenge amongst real friends, the only thing that wins is when we both back down and allow a humble spirit to guide us out. People, places and things, in which you 'experience' combined emotions of love, hate, aggression and passion with…are also the same people, places and things that will be with you at the end of time.

Experiences both good and bad are necessary in order for growth.  You don't realize how much you love something until you fight passionately to keep it. I fought hard to keep my decisions fervent, my commitments true, and my faith alive these past few months, and now I feel this experience in the growth I feel today.

Journal Pictures: December 12, 2006

At Danielle's Holiday Dance Show!
Little Danielle is on the far right..she was the best dancer!

Proud mommy! She started crying during her performance!

I am OLDER than her! Most people think the opposite?!

This is my Tahjai baby!!!! That's his smile - cheese!!