November 20, 2006 

This past week while I allowed the negative energy of recent incidents sweep past my psyche. I didn't allow it to penetrate my soul. Instead of reacting to my circumstances, I decided to act by immobilizing my actions and not responding at all. 

Sometimes it takes more effort to not fight when every bone inside your body wants to aggressively attack.

And so I paused, I reflected, I analyzed …and after doing so, I finally responded. I confronted my self imposed circumstances with more understanding and perspective than I would have if I had taken action during the initial incidents. There were times when I had felt lost, confused, angry, resentful, mad and frustrated, but I knew that there was no pill I could take, no time machine to reverse life, and no way out of my present situation…than to dig right inside myself and get out mentally. 

Pain, happiness, sadness and joy are all part of what makes life, life. There is no such thing as 'normalcy' - because everyone is so uniquely different. What makes us all the same, is that we equally experience varying levels of emotions and moods that are all controlled by our minds. What makes us exceptionally human, is the ability to take our minds and practice 'free will' by making moral and ethical decisions.

I made a committed decision to be 'conscious' of the choices I make in this life. I made a firm decision to withhold actions that were born from angry intentions. I made an arduous decision to not blame anyone but myself when experiencing pain in an incident where many variables were involved.  I chose to battle only one enemy - and that enemy was the person that stared at me every morning when I woke up praying that this day would be less painful than the last.

 By taking responsibility for the only thing I can control in this world, I was able to transform and take control of my circumstances, versus allowing something external to control and manipulate how I acted, felt and valued.

This week we are celebrating Thanksgiving - this past month however, I felt like I was celebrating this grateful occasion every time I wanted to give up. I started appreciating my challenges, I started thanking my advesaries and I started cherishing all the things I did have: which was my freedom to choose how I felt and how I acted.

Regardless of who we are and what we have - everyone experiences adversity, and everyone has something to be grateful for.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone. I am thankful to be able to write and have you read this personal and perspective entry.