July 9, 2008



Since our engagement
a lot of stuff has been happening: not necessarily in our lives but in
all the events, obligations and engagements we have every day. 
Interestingly enough, a lot of people ask me tons of questions like:
when it will be, what color have I chosen, where is the reception, etc.
etc. etc.



And honestly – while it seems I’m a little dreamer…I never dreamt of my wedding.



I always dreamt of my marriage.



I dreamt about being with someone I can travel the world with…confide in…share ambitions with…



I dreamt of a spiritual partnership –
not just a union based on convenience and mediocre compatibility. I’ve
always believed that your husband, or your wife…exists to help one
other get to heaven. They are supposed to make you a better person –
not through their own teachings, but through your own internal growth
when you struggle in a relationship that requires you to think of ‘two’
and not just ‘you.’


Throughout my life, many
people have coached me to not get married too young. I was coached to
focus on school, achieve in my profession, 'live it up' in my twenties
and not 'settle' until you had all your ducks lined up.

July 1, 2008



This morning I received news that Fitness without Borders will be receiving its first grant award from Nike. If
you can only imagine, I was very elated and excited about finally
getting some support for an organization that has been running fully on
my own investments and donations. Now, we can utilize those funds
towards the high school fitness club programs we have planned this
upcoming school season!


Since I received tax exempt status
in February, there have been moments when the nonprofit was busy with
events, grant deadlines and start-up programs….and then there were times when the busy-ness halted and I couldn’t look at a computer screen for a week.  (Hence my lack of journal postings lately) And while I didn’t have immediate results with many of my efforts, I knew that with
consistency, every action will produce a result. If it isn’t a desired
result, then I needed to take a different action and try again.
Whatever the end effect, I knew that vision without failure was the
only path. With the understanding that hardwork, persistence,
dedication and consistency pays off, I was relieved when I received my
first of many future grant awards.



My goal is to raise millions of dollars by instituting fitness programs that work.
 I don’t want overweight teachers boring students with book knowledge
on health. I want students to be empowered by their physical fitness by
being educated and producing a result through their personal knowledge.
I want parents and teachers to become educated role models for their
communities.

June 18, 2008



David proposed to me today.



After arriving downtown to meet him for lunch, we began walking around and decided to stop inside the Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament.
Since we often visit old churches, I wasn’t suspicious when we walked
in and stood in front of the alter gazing at the artwork, the colors
and the religious essence that surrounded the dark room. Holding my
hand tight, he looked at me and said, “Maria you know I love you.” And
I stared at him and said, “I know you do…and I do too.”



He then said, “There was a lot of preparation and planning involved in
the building of this church…” (David enjoys giving me history lessons)
he then said, “…just like there was a lot of preparation and planning that went into this day.”



My eyes enlarged.



As he began dropping down to one knee I began to panic and tried
grabbing his shoulders, for I had envisioned this moment, but was never
prepared to experience it.



He opened a black box with a bright diamond sitting squarely in its center.  I could rarely see through my tears when he asked, “Will you marry me?”



And after the longest second of my life…



I said yes.



As
we kissed and embraced I could hear a wave of emotion in the room of
people praying and watching. He then said this was the first proposal
held at this church and everyone was here to witness. He pointed to the
director praying to my left, the nuns watching on the sidelines and
most surprising of all…he pointed to my family and friends smiling from
the church balcony, sharing and recording every moment of this very
special day.



I knew I was going to marry him the moment we met. 
Besides being dark, handsome and charismatic…he had an endearing energy
that was humbly different than people I have met before.  We talked
about traveling, we dreamt about family and we agreed on what kind of
ideal love was needed in a unified marriage. Since our union, we’ve
traveled cross country and to Hawaii, we’ve engaged with family
activities, we’ve fought, we’ve forgiven …but most of all, we have flourished.



I love David and I can’t wait to be his wife.



I was emailed the letter he sent out to local friends when preparing
for today and almost cried again after reading it:

---

Hello all,



For those who can make it, it is going to be at 10:45 am, in the
Cathedral in Sacramento today (Wednesday) June 18th, 2008.

June 12, 2008



It’s late Wednesday night
and I finally mustered up some time to do some deep thinking. My hair
is wet from a late shower, there are three little kids having a slumber
party on my floor, and my eyelids are ready to drop any moment now.



We came back from a bachelorette/bachelor party in Vegas this weekend.
It was a great opportunity to become closer to the bridal party and
both my sisters. I
feel so blessed to have 2 sisters I am very close to…most of our
fondest moments include us sarcastically remarking  about each other’s
lives, talking dramatically about our boyfriends and laughing
hysterically at our personal stories on work, love and drama.
A total of 4 kids make up our close-knit family, in which we all exist
only one year apart.  I am the eldest girl and second child. This past
weekend, we were celebrating the upcoming nuptials of the middle girl:
Christine Kang, who also happens to be the mother of the kids sleeping
below me right now.



While the weekend was fun – it was also a very tiring weekend for me as well. David and I arrived a couple days earlier so that we can do some things alone (since
the guys and girls split once the party weekend began). As usual, we
enjoyed our time spent together as we often love going on long drives
and scenic hiking trails. However, while we often portray a couple who
are compatible and loving…we also naturally argue and have
disagreements. These past few weeks I’ve found myself arguing
more consistently with him.

June 3, 2008



I woke up today comfortable
in my new bed sheets and unwilling to get up and get the day started.
As I performed cardio after my chest and back routine, I kept thinking
about how today would go: I envisioned my focus while writing articles
on deadline, I played out the board meeting I had at 5:30, I visualized
writing addresses and sending out 60 invitations to my sister’s bridal
shower, I pictured staying hydrated, eating well and training again
later this evening in my Zumba class. I even envisioned writing this
journal entry…after a late dog walk and hot shower, I knew I’d be
sitting in my new bed sheets at the end of today - wanting to
consistently post something before the week preceded…



At church this past Sunday, I prayed for peace.
These past few weeks I’ve been feeling an overwhelming sense of
anxiety, stress and worry. My mind was in constant motion and would not
stop until my eyes rested into a deep sleep. I lost motivation to work
out – I actually just lost motivation to move at all.



Sometimes, when you overindulge your mind with meaningless worries of a
future that has not arrived, you stand frozen with an inability to take
a progressive action towards a direction you want to go.
Actions precedes thoughts – therefore Thoughts must be purposeful and
at peace with the flow of your ‘being’. If you are not genuinely
arriving to your true self every morning when you awake, and every
night before you sleep…then you must change your course of thought.



Last week I prayed to get connected to the source again…I was not in
step with my purpose, for I was constantly being misguided by a dark
energy that created a strain in my soul. That energy created feelings of worthlessness, fatigue and disappointment.

May 7, 2008



I am very excited. The day is sunny. The sky is clear. I ran this morning…but most significantly, I left a really great meeting where I presented Fitness without Borders
to the Elk Grove School District. Not only did we get great applause
for the programs we are initiating, but we also received positive
feedback for the fitness clubs we will start implementing in both
junior and high schools this fall. Since its conception, FWB
has become a force on its own…a combination of networking, researching
and just plain working has reaped some solid results in less than 2
months.



On Saturday we went on a short trip to Tahoe with my parents and on Sunday we attended the ground breaking of our church, Good Shepherd.
It was a huge, momentous occasion, especially since I remember
attending mass at a local Elementary school when the church first
congregated. Many parishioners attended, including some of the kids I
instruct every Thursday at 4pm.